There’s a place that I call the in-between stage that I’m fully aware of today. It’s a place where you sit in momentary silence while you’re waiting for something to happen, (which can occur a hundred, maybe even a hundred million times a day). It’s that really tiny space in time when you’re waiting for the subway to arrive as you stand patiently on the platform and hear it barreling down the tunnel, or when you’re waiting to receive your change from the cashier at the grocery store and she hands you back your receipt in hand. Or perhaps when you’re in the waiting line, queued up for the ATM machine during rush hour traffic.
I’m taking notice of these moments tonight. I’m curious about who I’m being in those seemingly, trite, inconspicuous times. There’s something about the small things that seem so big to me. Something about things being small AND big all at the same time. Paradox. They say the devil is in the details. So I wonder who the devil I’m being in those moments. What have I not yet seen of myself that I’m curious to know about myself? Who am I being when I wait? How am I participating with others while I wait? What do I do when I wait?
There’s more to me than meets the eye, even to my own eye, it seems. Human beings are like diamonds. Every diamond has a hundred or a hundred million different facets to it and depending on where the light strikes it, that facet glows. That particular angle and light is then revealed. So, what happens to the other side of the diamond that’s kept in the dark? When do we get to see it? I guess we just need to turn it around and place it under the light and simply notice that it’s there, waiting to be revealed.
Noticing the spaces tells me something about myself. My eyes are wide open and I wait… “Walking carries me, and so I find myself, step by step.”